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The ‘Dead’ Grieve Too

Grieving dead

Since my ‘channelling’ experience with my nephew, I’ve been wondering how it could possibly happen on a more regular basis. It seemed all the stars and planets were aligned to enable it to happen at that time in that way, and so I couldn’t imagine how I would develop this form of communication in any kind of practical, easily accessible way. I needn’t have worried. Last week, I was once again the ‘channeller’ of the strong emotions of someone who had passed only very recently.

My friend ‘M’, died quite unexpectedly after being in hospital for about 5 weeks. It may sound like so long in hospital couldn’t really qualify for ‘out of the blue’, but no-one had any inkling that things were that serious for him. He went in for some tests which would hopefully identify the problem and allow them to treat him accordingly. It seemed that no sooner had he had the diagnosis (in his 3rd week), that it became very apparent just how ill he was. His condition worsened and he made his transition very soon after.

I’ve been visiting with his wife, ‘J’ every week since. She shares my metaphysical beliefs and is a huge fan of Abraham’s teachings. Naturally, each time I visit we talk about dying and what lies beyond death. We also speculate about the timing of attempting to make contact with her much missed husband. Should we give him space to acclimatise to his situation? Is he in the after-life version of a hospital recovering from his illness? Is he processing his life’s learning? We both agreed that we would always be ready to communicate if it became clear that he was ready, but that we wouldn’t force the issue.

Last week, joined by another like-minded friend, it was agreed that we could at least contact our guides to ask them our questions around making contact with ‘M’. As we often do, we began by using our version of the Ouija Board (shot glass and Scrabble tiles). Contact was hesitant, often random and confusing, and very slow. However, we did get some useful answers and when that happened we would stop to discuss the possible meanings.

It was during one of these breaks that I began to feel the now familiar sensations that something was coming through. We’d already been told that this wasn’t a good time for ‘M’ to contact us, but that ‘J’, as she suspected, had indeed felt his love on several occasions. We were discussing the message that the guides were helping ‘M’; and that, despite ‘M’ not being ready to communicate using words or thoughts, his emotions were still very real and accessible, which allowed his love for ‘J’ to come through so strongly.  I was elaborating on this when I began to get very emotional – something I now recognise as the ‘calling card’ of someone who has passed: it’s how they let me know they are there and wanting to come through.

Sir George Clausen: Youth Mourning

As with my nephew, I began to cry, only thankfully it wasn’t anywhere near as overwhelming. I could feel frustration, confusion and anger – none of which were my own emotions. I knew that ‘M’ was furious about going when he did. He hadn’t been prepared to leave so quickly. He was also frustrated that he wouldn’t be able to accomplish the things he and ‘J’ had planned to do together or continue with the work he loved. This was something I knew ‘J’ was struggling with, but I never imagined for a second that ‘M’ might also be experiencing grief in such a way.

Therapist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross worked extensively with the terminally ill. She is famous for introducing the hypothesis that there are five emotional stages to grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I believe that both ‘J’ and ‘M’ were in the denial stage whilst he was in hospital, as both seemed unable to take in information about his condition that may have resulted in them realising how ill he actually was. I now believe ‘M’, more so than ‘J’, is in the anger stage. He cannot accept, not so much what has happened, but the fact that it happened the way, and when, it did. He didn’t feel ready.

This understanding led us to explore ways in which ‘J’ can help ‘M’ with releasing his anger and frustration so that he can come to accept what has happened and begin the process of adjustment. She has often voiced her pain over the fact that they will never do the things they had planned as they continued to grow old together. This is one aspect of coming to terms with her loss that she now realises is important for her to let go of in order to assist ‘M’ to reach a place of acceptance (and, of course, for herself).

I’d never before considered that someone who has made their final transition could share the grieving emotions being experienced by those left behind. I knew from previous channellings and Ouija sessions that the recently passed can be held back from completing their transition process by the intense emotions of their grieving loved ones. It now appears that the recently passed can also be held in their own cycle of grieving for their lost physical life for as long as their loved ones continue with that emotion. I have helped many clients through the grieving process, believing that it was only they that were being affected by their strong emotions. I now realise that in helping the grieving this side of ‘the veil’, we also help those on the other side.

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Posted by on November 5, 2013 in Channelled Guidance

 

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