My First Real Experience as a Medium

08 Oct

Let go

One of the biggest ‘psychic’ developments that I’ve recently experienced involved a young relative (whom I’ll call, AJ) who was having extreme personal and family difficulties. The psychic event that took place whilst I was working with him was totally unexpected.  He had come to stay in order to have a break from the stresses of his life at home. As a therapist, I wouldn’t usually work with family or friends, but he was so desperate and I was worried for his safety. His main problem was around the fact that his father had been murdered three years ago. As there was a murder inquiry, he wasn’t allowed to see the body for almost five weeks. When he was finally allowed to see him, the awful image of his father’s, by now shrunken body, had haunted him ever since.

AJ stayed with us for the weekend and we had had many in-depth talks about all of his difficulties, including his inability to shake that terrible image from his mind. During this time, I had experienced occasional, short episodes of light-headedness – like I wasn’t fully present in my body. I hadn’t paid much attention to it as I am in good health and decided it was due to being perimenopausal. It was AJ’s final day with me and I decided to do some hypnotherapy with him in order to alleviate some of the symptoms of what I believed to be PTSD around the events of his father’s death.

AJ was in a light trance and I was in the process of reducing the impact of the painful, intrusive images he was haunted by – something that involves minimizing the colour, sound, brightness, etc., of the images being played over and over in his mind. Having given him instructions to that affect, I waited silently – giving him time to carry them out. As I waited, I again experienced the spaced-out feeling, but again, ignored it. Moments later, I became aware of a bird scrabbling at the window. I ignored it at first, thinking it was just after an insect and that it would soon go. However, it persisted, and the sound of its desperate attempts grew more frenzied and I had to turn to see what it was doing. A blackbird was battering itself against the window pane – feet, wings and beak hammering furiously against the glass. Whilst I was concerned it would disturb AJ, I was also amazed at how desperate it seemed in its mission: which was so insistent that it seemed to be to gain entry into the house. Incredulous, I returned my attention back to AJ to see how it had affected him. Thankfully, his relaxed state was much deeper than I had thought as he was clearly undisturbed by the commotion. A moment or two later and the bird was gone.

As I continued with the session, I wondered about the bird and why it had behaved in that way. I believe that signs and messages are given to us all the time, and that birds are often the messengers. This was such a violent and prolonged ‘attack’ that I considered the possibility that AJ’s father wanted me to stop the session. I was using a common therapeutic approach – one I have done many times, always with a positive outcome – and so I couldn’t understand why that might be so. As I had no way of knowing for certain what the bird was trying to tell me, I continued with the session.

Debriefing after the session, I asked AJ if the bird had disturbed him. He seemed surprised and asked, ‘What bird?’ I explained what had happened, amazed that none of it had penetrated his trance-state. I joked that I thought it was trying to get in. He was quiet for a moment and then said, ‘My dad was really into birds. He kept it to himself, but he loved them and knew all their names.’ I was pleasantly surprised when AJ agreed that this may have been a message from his dad – we hadn’t talked about anything of this nature at all over the weekend, and he had no idea that I was in any way spiritual or that I had been pursuing and developing this interest. (This was prior to my ‘coming out’ as a medium/channeller.) We then had an in-depth conversation about what might happen when we die, and what his dad might be doing now he was no longer in physical. Again, as we talked, I felt the familiar spacey-ness.

Ten minutes later, we were having lunch, prior to my taking him to the station. The spacey feeling had come again as I prepared the food and I silently joked with my guides that if they wanted me to channel they had another thing coming: it was one thing to tell someone I believed in and practiced these things, it was another to follow that tricky conversation with a full-blown channelling! We sat talking about the way the session had gone, and AJ was saying he now found it hard to conjure up the intense emotions he’d had previously – which was a much welcome result – but that he still felt intense guilt around how things had been left between him and his dad: they were estranged at the time of the murder. As he spoke, I began to reassure him that his dad wouldn’t want him to hold on to those feelings: that his perspective of things would be completely different after being in non-physical for three years.

As I spoke, I was suddenly overcome with the strongest emotion. I began to cry with wracking sobs. I’d had no warning: one minute I was talking calmly to AJ, the next, I was a blubbering wreck. Alarmed and confused, AJ jumped up to comfort me, asking what was wrong. All I could say was that his dad was desperate for him to forgive himself for anything that had happened between them. He wanted him to live his life free of guilt or remorse. That he loved him and wanted him to be happy. As the words poured out, I felt intense relief and gratitude flowing through me. It was a wonderful feeling of love and relief. As I tried to express this to AJ, the feelings subsided and I regained control of my emotions.

I now knew beyond doubt that AJ’s dad had been desperate to communicate this with his son all weekend. The spacey feelings I’d experienced were him trying to come through; but, being so inexperienced in these matters, I had dismissed them as something physical. I also knew that the bird was him trying to get me to stop – knowing the pain his son was suffering as he conjured up that terrible image of his deteriorating physical body. He was also frantic to get me to pay attention, to acknowledge what I was experiencing as something that was spiritual in nature and not just physical. He was determined to get his message through before his son left for home.

Of all the things I did with AJ that weekend, this was the most powerful in terms of his being able to literally, lay a ghost to rest. Whereas before he couldn’t even think of his father without crying, he was now able to talk about him with a gentle fondness. The light in his eyes as he smiled – something that hadn’t been present before – lit up his whole face.

Later, I did a meditation and asked AJ’s dad if there was anything more he wanted me to convey to him. I had a sense of a man moving away from me. Looking over his shoulder, he said, ‘No. Thank you’. I felt a sense of relief once more and knew that, through being able to reach his son in that way, this man had been able to move forward in his own spiritual development, and I feel honoured to have been able to be a part of that amazing communication and healing.

I’ve had the spacey feeling several times since, but it hasn’t resulted in anything even nearly as dramatic as that experience. Now, though, when I feel it, I no longer dismiss it as an unknown physical reaction. I’ve not felt any emotion to go with it, but I’m sure that, with practice and confidence, I’ll get to the point where I can use this new skill more often – hopefully without becoming a gibbering wreck in the process!

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Posted by on October 8, 2013 in General


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